A little fear today

I woke up this morning, feeling perfectly fine. It was a little weird to feel so well. I was expecting to be sick or miserable...but thankfully no. I had to head to IMC cancer center for my shot and blood draw. The appointment went well..I've gained weight....the nurse says it is from all the fluid they put in me yesterday, but its just like gaining weight when your pregnant, you know you will but you still don't like seeing it:) They also said that my blood pressure keeps falling....they think I may be getting dehydrated so I need to drink lots of water...I have had 5 water bottes full of water and I still feel so dehydrated and thirsty!! It is a little weird.

I asked the nurse if it is normal to feel so good today. She asked how many rounds I've had. I told her I had my first yesterday and she just smiled and said, yes...enjoy today because it will change. YIKES....I liked today. I did get home at noon and hit a wall. I haven't regained much energy the rest of the day, but I will gladly take tired over throwing up and sick....ANYDAY!!!

While at the hospital I ran into an old neighbor friend. She was at the center with her husband who is terminal:( How my heart breaks for her. He had gotten cancer as a 30 year old and beat it. Well, 10 years later he got a different form and they are hoping to keep him alive until June 1st.

It really scared me....when you get cancer once, you are more suseptable to different ones. That really scared me today. I do not want to have to do ths again. I got onto her blog, read a few posts and had to stop. It was to much for me to handle right now. She talked about trying to get him on coumadin and how awful that was...they are trying to switch me to coumadin right now.

I got home and found a package on my doorstep today. Inside were some treats and a book of quotes by my MOST favorite general authority...Jeffery R. Holland. I picked up the book and started reading through the message....guess which one caught my eye?

"On that very night, the night of the greatest suffering that has ever taken place in the world or that ever will take place, the Savior said,
"Peace I Leave With You, My Peace I Give Unto You.....Let Not Your Heart Be Troubled, Nether Let It Be Afraid" (John 14:27)
I submit to you, that may be one of the Savior's commandments that is, even in the hearts of otherwise faithful Latter-day Saints, almost universally disobeyed; and yet I wonder whether our resistance to this invitation could be any more grievous to the Lord's merciful heart."

That hit me today. It is so true. I worry all the time, and if I don't have anything to worry about, I'll make something up. I just need to trust Him more. I need to feel compassion for my friend, but not let it interfer with my cancer and my path in this life. My road is different than her husband's road. I just need to trust in the blessings I've received and what Heavenly Father has in store for me. So much easier said than done, but I am going to do better:)