Friday, July 29, 2011
Radiation
I met with my radiation doctor today. She wants to start radiation after I have the PET Scan done. My PET is on the 8th and we will then start sometime after that. However, she did say I would only need 3 1/2 weeks...not 6...YEA, I am so glad!! This whole thing is almost over. And luckily, my hair will start to grow back in now:)!!! I am so sick of my reflection in the mirror...I just wish the hair came back as fast as it fell out:)
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Status Update
Today is day 9 post chemo. I usually have all my energy back by this point and I am on my way to feeling better. I actually felt like I was doing better this round than the others. I thought because I choose to wait an extra week my body had more time to heal.
First of all, I am so glad that I chose to wait until my family all left. I was able to enjoy being with them and I did feel miserable, like usual, so I am grateful they were not here for that.
That being said, I felt that most mornings I had some energy, I would try to enjoy that and then by noon it was gone for the day. Not a big deal. But Sunday night I started to feel worse than I had felt the whole time. Monday, Ryan came home for lunch and I was felt so sick. He called Brooke and took the 3 little kids to her (Skyler is at scout camp). I then slept from 1 until 6:15. And I was not close to rested.
Tuesday I felt the same way. I ended up calling Ashley at noon and asking her to take my kids and I then slept from 12:30 to 4. I just keep feeling worse and worse.
The last 2 day Nathan had been complaining of a "cankers" in his mouth and needed medicine. Finally Tuesday night I looked in his mouth to see his "canker" and his throat was ALL red. Great, I bet he and I have a sore throat, which would explain my throat hurting so much.
Wednesday I took Nathan to his doctor and yep...he has strep throat! I called my doctor and explained my symptoms and the fact that my son has it....and sure enough, I have strep. I have never had strep before, so I didn't know what it felt like. But serious headache, serious sore throat and I am assuming because I have a weak immune system, sleeping non stop must be my bodies way to protect itself and fight this. I cried the whole way home from the doctor, because I am so done. So done with not feeling well. I called Ryan and he came home to watch the kids. My mom also came home to take them out of the house for a couple of hours.
I feel so bad for my 3 little ones. They have got to be so tired of seeing mom lay around all day and night. They have watched WAY to much tv. I am just grateful for my family who comes to my rescue or my kids would be completely melted to the tv by now. I know what you are thinking, have them go play at friends..I do try to have them play, but I swear, every time I call someone to have them come there, no one is home....what is it summer time?!? And since I have my families cell phone numbers....I can reach them even if they aren't home and I don't feel as guilty asking them to drag my kids along with them;)
Now I am on medicine. My doctor says I should feel better from strep in a couple of days....a couple of days...sounds so close and yet so far away.
One last note, I am meeting with the radiologist on the 29th of July to map my cancer and to start treatment for radiation. I think I will be starting that process the 1st week of August.
First of all, I am so glad that I chose to wait until my family all left. I was able to enjoy being with them and I did feel miserable, like usual, so I am grateful they were not here for that.
That being said, I felt that most mornings I had some energy, I would try to enjoy that and then by noon it was gone for the day. Not a big deal. But Sunday night I started to feel worse than I had felt the whole time. Monday, Ryan came home for lunch and I was felt so sick. He called Brooke and took the 3 little kids to her (Skyler is at scout camp). I then slept from 1 until 6:15. And I was not close to rested.
Tuesday I felt the same way. I ended up calling Ashley at noon and asking her to take my kids and I then slept from 12:30 to 4. I just keep feeling worse and worse.
The last 2 day Nathan had been complaining of a "cankers" in his mouth and needed medicine. Finally Tuesday night I looked in his mouth to see his "canker" and his throat was ALL red. Great, I bet he and I have a sore throat, which would explain my throat hurting so much.
Wednesday I took Nathan to his doctor and yep...he has strep throat! I called my doctor and explained my symptoms and the fact that my son has it....and sure enough, I have strep. I have never had strep before, so I didn't know what it felt like. But serious headache, serious sore throat and I am assuming because I have a weak immune system, sleeping non stop must be my bodies way to protect itself and fight this. I cried the whole way home from the doctor, because I am so done. So done with not feeling well. I called Ryan and he came home to watch the kids. My mom also came home to take them out of the house for a couple of hours.
I feel so bad for my 3 little ones. They have got to be so tired of seeing mom lay around all day and night. They have watched WAY to much tv. I am just grateful for my family who comes to my rescue or my kids would be completely melted to the tv by now. I know what you are thinking, have them go play at friends..I do try to have them play, but I swear, every time I call someone to have them come there, no one is home....what is it summer time?!? And since I have my families cell phone numbers....I can reach them even if they aren't home and I don't feel as guilty asking them to drag my kids along with them;)
Now I am on medicine. My doctor says I should feel better from strep in a couple of days....a couple of days...sounds so close and yet so far away.
One last note, I am meeting with the radiologist on the 29th of July to map my cancer and to start treatment for radiation. I think I will be starting that process the 1st week of August.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Day 1 of The Final Round
I cannot express words well enough to say how grateful I am that this is my final chemo round...and with every prayer I say, I pray it is forever my final!!
It went well enough. My veins are shutting down, but I made it without needing a port, so that is good. My side effects do seem to get more pronounced every time. I am much more nauseous tonight than ever before.
The only crazy part of today came from Abbey. Now keep in mind she is 3 and I will not let her walk to the next door neighbors to play without me watching her or her brothers taking her, I am ridiculously paranoid about kidnappings and kids being hit by a car!!. My phone rang around 1:30 or so, but I was unable to answer. The call was coming from my next door neighbor. I thought that odd since she knew I was at chemo, so I asked Ryan to call her back. She was calling to let us know that she had found Abbey sitting on our front porch crying! Apparently Abbey and her friends decided they needed swim suits and everyone needed to go home and get their suit. That meant that Abbey had to cross 2 streets in our neighborhood to make it home, plus, I am TRULY shocked she knew how to get home!! All the kids had been farmed out to friends, so no one was here when she got home, therefore the door was locked.
I mention this because I want to, again, thank my Heavenly Father for watching over her and for my wonderful neighbor, Kori, for being so observant and watching out for my family. Thank you for taking care of Abbey and making sure she got back to the baby-sitters. This process is truly only do-able because I have so many friends, family and a higher power helping me!!! Thank you all!!!!!!!!
It went well enough. My veins are shutting down, but I made it without needing a port, so that is good. My side effects do seem to get more pronounced every time. I am much more nauseous tonight than ever before.
The only crazy part of today came from Abbey. Now keep in mind she is 3 and I will not let her walk to the next door neighbors to play without me watching her or her brothers taking her, I am ridiculously paranoid about kidnappings and kids being hit by a car!!. My phone rang around 1:30 or so, but I was unable to answer. The call was coming from my next door neighbor. I thought that odd since she knew I was at chemo, so I asked Ryan to call her back. She was calling to let us know that she had found Abbey sitting on our front porch crying! Apparently Abbey and her friends decided they needed swim suits and everyone needed to go home and get their suit. That meant that Abbey had to cross 2 streets in our neighborhood to make it home, plus, I am TRULY shocked she knew how to get home!! All the kids had been farmed out to friends, so no one was here when she got home, therefore the door was locked.
I mention this because I want to, again, thank my Heavenly Father for watching over her and for my wonderful neighbor, Kori, for being so observant and watching out for my family. Thank you for taking care of Abbey and making sure she got back to the baby-sitters. This process is truly only do-able because I have so many friends, family and a higher power helping me!!! Thank you all!!!!!!!!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Tender Mercies
A couple of weeks ago we had a lesson in Relief Society on the Lord's Tender Mercies. I loved the lesson and part of what I took from that lesson was that so often, we want to brush things off as coincidence or think nothing off it. But that if we really stop and look at life, we will see how often our Heavenly Father is present in every thing. That He loves each of us and wants to bless us and does bless us all the time....we just need to recognize those blessing. Then, when we do recognize those tender mercies, we need to write them down.
Also, tender mercies are tailor made. They are made for you as an individual and what you need in your life at that time. To someone else, it wouldn't mean anything, but to you, it is exactly what you need. I have had tender mercies shown me and I think I didn't really appreciate them as that. Well, this time, I did see it as a tender mercy of my Heavenly Father....
I have been dreading this round of chemo. Everyone keeps saying that it is your last...be excited for that. BUT....I just can't....I am dragging my feet kicking and screaming the whole way, knowing it was coming as soon as my sister and her family went home.
I love decorating and changing my house. We decided for Abbey's 4th birthday, she would finally get a "big girl bed". We went in to get her bed and they told us it would be available in 8 weeks...perfect...that would literally be the day of her birthday. That night they called and said the bedroom set would be ready to be picked up on Wednesday, July 13th....THE DAY AFTER CHEMO!! I was so bummed. I wanted to be able to put her room together and now I would feel miserable and not be able to help.
Then, Nathan breaks his arm. The doctor said that we would need to leave it in a splint for 2 weeks and that we would put the cast on....on July 13th...again..the day after chemo!! My heart just sank. As a mom, you always want to be there for your kids. I know that Ryan is capable of doing both things....but Ryan has never taken the kids to a doctor's appointment. I am always there.
I know this sounds silly to others, but honestly, those two events happening the day after chemo, just made me feel so down and frustrated with this stupid cancer business.
So Wednesday of last week, I took Nathan into the doctor for the x-ray that he had ordered. While there, the doctor decided that it would be best to put the cast on that day....I was able to be there with Nathan when he got his cast put on:) I instantly had this emotion of gratitude come over me. I had been so concerned about not being there and then...sure enough...I was there.
Then the next day, Thursday, I had the thought come to me that I should just call the store and see if her bed had come in early. I called the store and yep...her bed was there!! I called my friend, who let me use her car and I drove right to the store and picked up her bed. I was able to help put her room together...and as silly as it is...it meant so much to me! It is just part of being a mother and enjoying my kids and my life.
Not that I am now happy for chemo tomorrow, I'm still kicking, just not screaming:) But the two things that were causing me so much frustration were taken away. And I choose to believe, the Lord, who knows me perfectly....gave me my own tender mercies.
Also, tender mercies are tailor made. They are made for you as an individual and what you need in your life at that time. To someone else, it wouldn't mean anything, but to you, it is exactly what you need. I have had tender mercies shown me and I think I didn't really appreciate them as that. Well, this time, I did see it as a tender mercy of my Heavenly Father....
I have been dreading this round of chemo. Everyone keeps saying that it is your last...be excited for that. BUT....I just can't....I am dragging my feet kicking and screaming the whole way, knowing it was coming as soon as my sister and her family went home.
I love decorating and changing my house. We decided for Abbey's 4th birthday, she would finally get a "big girl bed". We went in to get her bed and they told us it would be available in 8 weeks...perfect...that would literally be the day of her birthday. That night they called and said the bedroom set would be ready to be picked up on Wednesday, July 13th....THE DAY AFTER CHEMO!! I was so bummed. I wanted to be able to put her room together and now I would feel miserable and not be able to help.
Then, Nathan breaks his arm. The doctor said that we would need to leave it in a splint for 2 weeks and that we would put the cast on....on July 13th...again..the day after chemo!! My heart just sank. As a mom, you always want to be there for your kids. I know that Ryan is capable of doing both things....but Ryan has never taken the kids to a doctor's appointment. I am always there.
I know this sounds silly to others, but honestly, those two events happening the day after chemo, just made me feel so down and frustrated with this stupid cancer business.
So Wednesday of last week, I took Nathan into the doctor for the x-ray that he had ordered. While there, the doctor decided that it would be best to put the cast on that day....I was able to be there with Nathan when he got his cast put on:) I instantly had this emotion of gratitude come over me. I had been so concerned about not being there and then...sure enough...I was there.
Then the next day, Thursday, I had the thought come to me that I should just call the store and see if her bed had come in early. I called the store and yep...her bed was there!! I called my friend, who let me use her car and I drove right to the store and picked up her bed. I was able to help put her room together...and as silly as it is...it meant so much to me! It is just part of being a mother and enjoying my kids and my life.
Not that I am now happy for chemo tomorrow, I'm still kicking, just not screaming:) But the two things that were causing me so much frustration were taken away. And I choose to believe, the Lord, who knows me perfectly....gave me my own tender mercies.
Sisters
I have been so blessed in my life for such amazing sisters. Not only are we sisters, but we are also GREAT friends.
I remember being little girls and just playing and laughing and having so much fun together.
Nicole and I always shared a room. I would entertain her and make her laugh all the time. We finally got our own rooms and I missed her so much, I slept in her room every night anyway, so our mom put us back together. We even managed to get along during our teenage years. When she moved to Arkansas, that was one of the hardest things in the world for me!! I am so grateful that we have continued to see each other every year and that our kids our close and such good friends. I am so grateful for the willingness of her family to take the time to drive out here and see us.
Brooke is 4 years younger than me. Growing up she always wanted what I had and it used to bug me....now I feel so bad for that. I love Brooke so much and am so grateful for the friendship we have. Brooke has truly been my saving grace. When Skyler was 2, I wanted to go back to college and finish my bachelors degree. I would not have been able to do that without Brooke. She watched Skyler everyday!! She also moved in with me and Ryan right before I got pregnant with Drew and Nathan. So she was there during the first year of their life. So many nights, Brooke would stay up with the baby that was crying, so I could sleep. I will forever be in Brooke's debt for all she has done for me.
Jamie is 14 years younger than me. I was in the delivery room when she was born and mothered her from the start! I have loved seeing her grow up and become a woman. I have always been there for Jamie, so it was such a switch to have her be in the doctor's office with me and to have her offer me comfort after the doctor told me I have cancer. She has taken Abbey so many times for me during this process and I have loved watching her and Abbey's relationship develop....I have decided that Abbey is a miniature Jamie...and I love it!!
Kayeli is my youngest sister. She is 18 years younger than me. I still remember the day my dad called and said,"you have a new little sister." I was so excited. Kayeli is so sweet and is growing into such a beautiful young woman. When she heard that I had cancer, she was so concerned and came to see me. I am grateful for her and that we are sisters.
I love having sisters. Sometimes I feel bad for Abbey that she will never know what that means (I just don't feel bad enough to try and give her any:)) And now I also have amazing sisters in law. Ashley, Tracey, Channing, Heather and Amy. These women have come into my life and I am so appreciative to each of them and for the love and support they offer me and the friendship that they so willingly give. I love each one of them! They are all amazing women!!!
Relay For Life
I am finally back to blogging. My sister and her family have now gone home:( and I am able to get back to the computer. Between late nights and kids always on the computer..there wasn't much time:)
Relay for Life was last Friday night. I am so excited that my sister and her family were able to be here for this event. All of my family came out to support this amazing cause...Thank you FAMILY! Not only that, but I want to thank my friends who were also willing to come and support me and Jamie in the cause to raise money for the fight on cancer. Brent, Amy, Cathy, Tiffany, Tania, Jeremy, Rachel, Lauren...thank you, thank you, thank you! Our team was able to raise just over $1000, which was our goal.
These kids were amazing...Skyler, Ashley, and Trevor walked a total of 12 miles for the cause. They had an assigned shift of 12 midnight to 1 am, but they started walking at 7, and didn't really stop until 1 (with just a few breaks). Nathan hung with them as much as they would let him, but even my little Nathan was up walking at 1:00 am:
That night, they lit the path with luminaries for those who are fighting cancer or who have lost the battle to cancer. We were talking about that and Nathan says: "Everyday I think about you dying from cancer and I'm afraid...I don't want to be left with just dad." While the last part kind of made me laugh, it sure made me stop and think about what my little kids must be dealing with and the fears that they have. I reassured Nathan that I would beat this and he has nothing to worry about. I did ask him why he doesn't want to be left with dad....."because he would make us work to much!" Not sure if that is a good or bad reason, but it is his:)
Here is a shot of the kids at the booth. We sold cupcakes, shirts, water and beads to help our teams total money donated.
The cupcakes and my cute little niece, Olivia:
Here are the girls from my family.....left to right....Abbey, Me, McKenna, Ashley C, Nicole, Ashley B, Brooke, Jamie, Mom, and Tracey
More pics of the evening:
I really need to be better about taking pictures. I relied on my sister for every picture, so these are her work. Thank you Nicole for taking photos for me. And thanks again to EVERYONE who donated money for this wonderful cause(it is what is keeping me alive) and for those willing to come out and walk(beginning at 7:00 pm and going until 8:00 am)...every lap that you walked you received a bead...our team came in 2nd...way to go!!!
Relay for Life was last Friday night. I am so excited that my sister and her family were able to be here for this event. All of my family came out to support this amazing cause...Thank you FAMILY! Not only that, but I want to thank my friends who were also willing to come and support me and Jamie in the cause to raise money for the fight on cancer. Brent, Amy, Cathy, Tiffany, Tania, Jeremy, Rachel, Lauren...thank you, thank you, thank you! Our team was able to raise just over $1000, which was our goal.
These kids were amazing...Skyler, Ashley, and Trevor walked a total of 12 miles for the cause. They had an assigned shift of 12 midnight to 1 am, but they started walking at 7, and didn't really stop until 1 (with just a few breaks). Nathan hung with them as much as they would let him, but even my little Nathan was up walking at 1:00 am:
That night, they lit the path with luminaries for those who are fighting cancer or who have lost the battle to cancer. We were talking about that and Nathan says: "Everyday I think about you dying from cancer and I'm afraid...I don't want to be left with just dad." While the last part kind of made me laugh, it sure made me stop and think about what my little kids must be dealing with and the fears that they have. I reassured Nathan that I would beat this and he has nothing to worry about. I did ask him why he doesn't want to be left with dad....."because he would make us work to much!" Not sure if that is a good or bad reason, but it is his:)
Here is a shot of the kids at the booth. We sold cupcakes, shirts, water and beads to help our teams total money donated.
The cupcakes and my cute little niece, Olivia:
Here are the girls from my family.....left to right....Abbey, Me, McKenna, Ashley C, Nicole, Ashley B, Brooke, Jamie, Mom, and Tracey
More pics of the evening:
I really need to be better about taking pictures. I relied on my sister for every picture, so these are her work. Thank you Nicole for taking photos for me. And thanks again to EVERYONE who donated money for this wonderful cause(it is what is keeping me alive) and for those willing to come out and walk(beginning at 7:00 pm and going until 8:00 am)...every lap that you walked you received a bead...our team came in 2nd...way to go!!!
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