A Better Day

I'm so grateful that yesterday is over, but I'm also grateful for yesterday. I was able to mourn the death of a loved one (aka...my hair) and now it's done. I believe that somedays you just need a good cry. And if your allowed to have that, you can move on more quickly than if you try to ignore and suppress it, so that's what I did.

I cried all morning long, felt sorry for myself and had a really great pity party. My kids were all at school and I got to be alone. Alone with my tears and my thoughts. I was able to beat myself up for a while and not have to explain to any little kids why I was crying so much and saying mean things about myself.

It is interesting, someone made the comment, I would think you would want time to be alone so you could be mad, angry and angry at God. That comment struck me. In fact, I am not nor have I ever once been angry with God. Quite the opposite. I really see Him as such a strength to me. He is my biggest advocate. I thank Him everyday for giving people the knowledge to create medicine to fight cancer. I grateful for Him in His tender mercies, like He showed me yesterday through the voice of my little Abbey...and that I am still her mommy. I believe He knew that only a child could make a comment like that and knock some sense into me:) I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who feels it is time for me to grow and has given me this challenge to grow by...I REALLY am.

Around 11 yesterday, I decided that it was time to be done. My situation is not going to change no matter how much I cry and quite honestly, it takes a lot of strength, energy and work to be so sad!! So I said, enough. I looked at myself and said, "it's time to look pretty". So I showered (and yes, boys do have it easier:)), put make up on, got dressed and then put my wig on... and then I felt great! I really do look good in my wig, so why cry, right?:)

I met Ryan and some wonderful friends of ours for lunch. It was so great to see them and spend time laughing. I tried to watch people at the restaurant to see if they would take a double look to tell if my hair was fake, and I don't think anyone did. And if they did, who cares, it is what it is.

So thank you to all of you for your love and concern and posts on my blog the last 2 days. I am grateful for the strength and encouragement from you all:) Today is a Great Day!