I have been wanting to write again for some time now, I just never sit down and take the time to put my words and thoughts down. I have really done an awful lot of soul searching and wondering about everything that has gone on this past year.
On November 27 I turned 35. For many years now I have HATED my birthday. I would get so mad at Ryan for celebrating them. I don't like getting older...I just don't!! But for the first time in a long while, I actually enjoyed my birthday this year:) I was truly grateful that I was able to turn 35! I realized that turning older is a priviledge, because it now means to me, that I am alive and healthy enough to get to enjoy this day. I am grateful to be here for this Christmas season and still be a part of my family's life.
Ryan and I have had a lot of discussions the last little bit. And we have talked about what this experience has meant to us and our family. I know that some would say they wished they had never had to endure this or be burden by it, but I told Ryan, I wouldn't trade this year and the last 10 months for anything! What I have learned, how I have grown and how I see life now could never have come any other way for me. The lessons that I was taught (and am still being taught) have truly given me a different way of looking at life and trusting in my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ and their plan for me and my life. I don't question them as frequently as I did before, because I know they see my full potential and what I am capable of doing. Am I perfect at this? Not even close! But I am much better at this than I was 10 months ago.
It never ceases to amaze me how perfectly Heavenly Father knows me and the best way for me to learn and grow. I read a quote the other day that stated:"If God brings you to it, God will bring you through it." This may sounds overly cliche, but I am so thankful for this learning and growing experience Heavenly Father blessed me with, I am forever changed.
My friends shared this song with me entitled "A Beautiful Heartbreak" by Hilary Weeks. This song touched me to my core...Listen to the words...I love how she is able to express my thoughts through her song!! I am grateful for the mountain God placed in my road because I never would have seen the miracles if I had stayed on the ground.
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